At 30 years old, I feel like I’ve gotten a pretty good grasp on what a healthy romantic relationship should look like. After my last major relationship came to an end, I made the decision to do a little personal research. I talked to couples everywhere: the grocery store, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my friends, my family, a couple I met in an antique store who were just so in love that I needed to know their story, and countless others. I made it my mission to sit down and to LISTEN to what people had to say. I didn’t just want to know what made it work, I wanted to know what made it not work. I feel like during that time, I learned crucial lessons for making love work. But, it takes two people coming together with that knowledge. It can’t be one-sided.
We are all born into complex relationships that existed before us, and set the tone for the way we approach love in our lifetime. When we’re young, we’re not always at fault for projecting some of the not-so-wonderful love lessons we’ve absorbed by watching our parents relationship (or lack thereof). ** At some point, as we enter adulthood, it becomes our responsibility to seek out answers; to determine that we can’t blame our upbringing or ghosts anymore and take responsibility for creating a healthy relationship. In no uncertain terms: IT. TAKES. WORK.
I came across this article on Oprah’s website that really echoes a lot of what I learned during that beautiful time when I put effort into learning lessons in love. romantic love is complicated and hugely different from the love we have for friends or family. It is easy to become lost and unhealthy, especially if both parties aren’t insisting on health. I like the healthy guidelines this article sets.
What do you think?
What are some lessons you’ve learned in love?
** I feel it vital to state at this point that my parents, though not perfect had a very loving and healthy relationship growing up based on mutual love and respect.