Be it the fact that I’m now 30, the fearlessness I’ve adapted after dealing with huge losses, or simply being more confident and secure with myself, I have developed an expanding list of things that I refuse to be apologetic about. I’d more often consider it a blessing than a curse, because time and time again, I find this list saves me from dealing with situations and people that may prove to be less than healthy for me. At some point in my life, they were all things I used to cover up to make it easier for other people to like me. Now, not so much. Some of them are deep, and some are pretty silly and superficial, but they’re all me.
Here are a few:
I’M A HICK. Yes, you read right. I know how to change a tire, I like being outside, I am more than very handy around the house, I start fires, I camp, I can’t tolerate pristinely (a word?) clean homes, I can ride a 4-wheeler, I prefer the woods to the city, and many other things that would probably make the average city dweller cringe.
IF YOU USE DRUGS, KNOW THAT I AM JUDGING YOU. Obviously, there are times when drugs are prescribed for a valid reason. That aside, if you abuse drugs in any way, if you rely on them to get you through the day, if you use them to escape boredom or run from pain instead of confronting it head on…I’m going to judge you. And I don’t really want you in my life. People who abuse drugs generally have underlying issues that raise nearly all of my “red flags.”
I’M A NICE GIRL. I don’t say nasty things behind anyone’s back, you’ll never catch me lying or scheming. I don’t cheat. I always do the right thing. I blame my parents raising me with the knowledge between right and wrong.
I HATE SHOWERING. No, I’m not the smelly kid, but showering is such a complete pain in the ass.
I AM MESSY. At any given time, you may actually find the kitchen sink in my car or purse. I’ve tried to fight it my whole life, but at this point, I give myself a break.
I DON’T MIND SAYING THE “N” WORD. NO, I will not ________________. <— Enter whatever it is I'm being asked to do that doesn't make me feel good/makes me feel taken advantage of/or I just generally don't want to do.
I'D RATHER BE ALONE THEN SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO AREN'T GENUINE. Lonely is bad. Compromising your morals in any way to keep from being alone is worse.
Trust me, these are just a few. As I said, I'm adding to the list almost daily. Are there certain things that you find you're completely unwilling to apologize about for feel bad for? What led to your fearlessness?